Oden is still asking for a baby sister on a pretty regular basis. Esp when he’s sees my big old belly hanging out. He loves to pat it and ask if his baby sister is in there yet

The other day when I picked him up from preschool, he saw one of his classmate’s little sister (about 2 y.o.) waiting outside for him w/ her father. As they walked across the parking lot, Oden exclaimed, “I want a baby sister. One that walks!”

It was super cute! I told him we’ll see… I’d love one too! But in the mean time, Shai will start walking and hopefully fill that void for Oden. Can’t wait to see them walking and running around together!!

When Shai smiles, he lights up my heart!!

He’s been SO much happier these last few days now that he is getting more to eat. He is smiling and giggling ALL the time! It is SO wonderful to see.

My favorite is when he wakes up… I walk into his room to retrieve him and he’s sitting up in his crib. Smiling up at me w/ his big wide grin. It tickles my heart so! And then he starts to flail his arms and legs in excitement. Nothing is more precious than that!!

I’m feeling extremely emotional right now. Both boys are asleep and for some reason my heart just aches for them. I love them so much. Their innocence and their love. They are so pure in every way and I am just so thankful to have them. In the same moment that I say that I can’t help but think how lost I would be w/o them.

I think I am also sad b/c I miss my Oden. I miss cuddling him all the time. I recently told a friend, ML, who just had her 2nd child, that the hardest thing to cope w/ when I had Shai, was losing what I had when it was just me and Oden (and Daddy). Not to say I don’t cherish our life and traditions we’ve created as a family of 4, but I really miss my Oden. At least I still have our alone time during bedtime routine to share w/ him. Just the 2 of us. I love him so much and I hope I haven’t short changed him by giving him a little brother. I know it will be good in the long run, but I feel sad that he isn’t my baby and sole focus anymore…

I love my boys so so much it kills me…

Shai had his 9 mth well visit this past week. He weighed in at 17 lbs 3 oz and 27.5 in tall. Not bad if u didn’t consider how much he weighed at his 6 mth well visit… 16 lbs 13 oz. So he only gained 6 oz in 3 mths!! He dropped quite a bit on the percentile charts so the Dr was worried. I mentioned that my milk supply didn’t seem to be where it should be. Turns out I’ve been starving my poor little baby!! This is NOT a prob I had w/ Oden who was an insanely chunky monkey. Altho I did supplement him w/ formula starting at 10 mths since he still seemed hungry after feedings (I noticed him guzzling water as if he was starving and he did the same w/ formula when I offered it to him). Maybe my body just isn’t meant to breast feed for very long. I am disappointed that it seemed to quit sooner this time around, and I’m disappointed in myself for not realizing it myself that Shai wasn’t growing. There def were signs… he didn’t seem to be outgrowing his 6-9 mth clothes, by 9 mths!! Grouchy and always wanting boob. I should’ve known. In the few days we’ve given him formula he already feels heavier!! He’s napping significantly better and he’s SO MUCH happier!! I can actually set him down to play by himself for longer periods of time. And he’s not a total crab by the end of the day!! Oh, I feel so horrible!! Atleast I realized my milk wasn’t doing as well, but I just attributed it to my starting my period and being sick and Shai starting solids and not needing as much. I was even drinking more water and fenugreek seed tea which I believe was working. Too little too late I guess. Well, now my baby boy is on formula in addition to my milk. He’s taken to it pretty well. I started out mixing it w/ my milk and he took it more readily. Now he sees the bottle and even if it’s 100% formula he’s reaching and panting for it. Now I’m just working on figuring out how much volume he needs. I started the 1st couple days w/ 4 oz on top of my milk. He didn’t finish that amt at 1st but did by day 2. On day 3 I gave him a 6 oz bottle and he finished that, as he did today. Tomorrow I will give him 8 oz and see how much of that he drinks. It may be a matter of him adjusting to the readily available supply of milk/formula and stretching out his stomach to accommodate what his body needs and wants. Sigh… at least we are on track now. We have an appt w/ the Dr in a mth to check his weight gain. My poor baby The mom guilt is heavy right now…  Oh, and more so b/c it explains why he’s been so constipated for the past 4 mths since he started solids… he wasn’t getting enuf fluids to help push things thru. Hopefully I haven’t destroyed his kidneys!! Agh!!

The other day we drove past his baby sitter’s house, Ms N. He always remembers her house and always asks if we could go to her house some day. He likes to proclaim that “It’s been a really long time!” This particular time he actually told me that I could drop him off. “I can play by myself mom. I don’t need you.” I didn’t know if I should laugh or cry My boy is getting to be so big and independent. It’s a preview of future grown up Oden who won’t need Mama anymore. It kills me and I couldn’t imagine my daily life w/o him. I love him to death!!

My little man has perfected the pincer grasp. He can pick up the smallest bit of garbage off the floor – great!! He can also transfer things (even small itty bitty things) from one hand to the other. Very cool!! Well, it’s certainly coming in handy for him during meals. He LOVES LOVES LOVES puffs. The stuff is totally like crack for babies. I also recently started giving him toasted bread square bits and today we’re going to try avocado squares. More good stuff!!

My baby boy is 9 mths old, tomorrow!! He is growing and changing and moving and grooving!!

He’s STILL NOT sleeping thru the nite. BUT he has been fighting a nasty cold (cough and congestion) that he got from his big bro so it’s totally setting us back. He’s nursing to sleep and thru the nite again. I’m only OK w/ this b/c he needs his fluids right now. As soon as he’s better, we’re BACK to sleep training and MAYBE he’ll be sleeping thru the nite for me. Just prior to this he was doing really well and sleeping thru the nite every other nite. Wish me luck!!

His cold has also set back his eating capabilities. He vomited a couple of times and has no interest in solids much anymore. Hopefully he’ll be an eating champ again once he’s all better!

My little man is creeping but not yet crawling. He’s getting on all 4’s and rocking but not actually crawling. He is able to get across the room but it’s more from sliding and shifting. He will be MUCH happier when he is mobile and I will be that much CRAZIER trying to keep him out of trouble!! I guess that means I have to clean more often, ugh!!

Shai is a fan of reading books. He loves to turn the pages of the book for me. The board books are great for this b/c the page pops up by itself so he can grab it and turn it. Of course, he almost always tries to eat the page 1st, but it’s great to see his interest in books never the less!

Shai is starting to make the mmmmm sound. He does it alot when I’m getting ready to nurse and he’s trying to express that he REALLY wants it!!  Next up, MAMA!!

I’ve also recently checked out the “Signing Time” DVDs (firsts signs, and baby signs vol 1 & 2). I need to polish up on my baby signs so I can start using them w/ Shai. Oden’s been watching the DVDs too so he’ll also be able to communicate w/ his baby brother. Good Stuff!!

Oden experienced his foot falling asleep for the 1st time today: “Mom, I have an owie on my foot.” Then he gets up and limps across the room. “Mom, my foot is REAL heavy.” I COULDN’T STOP LAUGHING

This month has welcomed some new milestones for Shai. Nothing obvious, well, only to me

He is eating like a pro. He closes his mouth on the spoon to scrape off the food. He audibly gulps his mush and opens wide for another bite. When he swallows, he only loses a little bit of food, most goes down his throat. He uses his fingers much less for sucking down his food. One thing he likes to do is play w/ his food if any falls on his high chair tray. He loves to smear it around and then he’ll bang his hand down in it. He’s very inquisitive.

He’s still eating some of the earlier foods… avocado, peach, sweet potato. We’ve added a few others… papaya, pear, carrot. I tried to make him green beans, but it’s too gritty to give him. Not smooth enuf to swallow. This wk I’ll introduce acorn squash. We recently revisited banana and he gaged on it. He’s def no longer a fan of it. In fact, he puked it all up along w/ any milk he drank a few hrs later. We’ll avoid bananas for the time being!!

He is able to stay awake for longer stretches. 3 hrs, sometimes 4 hrs. It’s great. He’s getting into more of a routine and a little more flexible for naps. Rather than becoming incredibly fussy after 1.5-2 hrs, he just chills out and starts to get fussy after 2.5+ hrs. It makes it easier to get out and about. He’s also now down to 2 naps a day rather than 3. He takes his 1st nap about 2 hrs after he wakes in the morning (anytime b/w 6 and 8 am). He usually sleeps an hr, sometimes 1.5 hrs if he woke up too early that morning. Then he’s up for 3 hrs before he goes down for his 2nd nap. I’ve been able to take advantage of this timing to coincide w/ Oden’s nap and it works 70% of the time. His afternoon nap goes from 1.5 to 3 hrs. It’s nice, b/c then I can nap too AND get some chores done around the house. I’m a fan of this new sleep schedule. Altho it’s still not “perfect”, we’re getting there!!

Night time sleep is still a work in progress. He is semi-nursing to sleep at nite (630-7 pm). At least I try real hard to keep him awake while I nurse and by the time I’m done, he’s not gonna do anything but sleep. Then he wakes after ~3 hrs to nurse again (930-10 pm). This is good b/c then I get in a feeding right before I go to bed myself. He then typically sleeps for a long stretch of ~4 hrs til about 2 am. I then have to tend to his crying. This is the hard part b/c I refuse to feed him and nurse back to sleep. He is old enuf to sleep thru the nite w/o a feeding. He typically screams and cries for boob until I am able to calm him down. I am working on trying to let him fall asleep by himself w/o rocking him to sleep (another sleep crutch). I am successful 30% of the time. He has been crying for 1-2 hrs before I finally give in from exhaustion and rock him to sleep. It sucks. But I’ve had a cple good nites in the last 2 wks, so it gives me hope. Then he wakes b/w 5-6am for another feeding. This is when I usually bring him into bed w/ me and we fall asleep together while he’s nursing. I love this part, except for the occasions when he decides to play after he’s done nursing. Mama is tired, but still in love w/ my baby boy

We’re getting closer to crawling but not quite there yet. Shai is moving from sitting to leaning forward onto his hands, but not getting on all 4’s. He’s also going from laying on his belly to all 4’s, but more in child’s pose than all 4’s. I give it 2 more wks!!